France must be one of the most dangerous places in Europe in which to live—at least, that would be the opinion of the Honourable Society of Neanderthal-Brained Nincompoops & Nannies whose members keep embedding ever further—and dafter—regulations into English Law. I’m thinking, for example, of the police constables who weren’t … Read more … →

Looking back over my (mostly undecipherable) notes, I find that it’s a goodish while since I last spread some nicked-from-the-cemetery flowers over the Temps Perdu of any residual memory of me that still lingers at Bradford. But the gap is not, I hasten to add, because I love you all … Read more … →

As yesterday was the culmination of the Festering Season, may I take this opportunity to wish a Bonne Année! to my readers — whoever you are (or, should the number have dwindled to singularity by this point, whoever thou art). Parenthetically, I do wish the Second Personal Singular hadn’t disappeared … Read more … →

“For things unknown there is no desire.” I think I remember that tag being quoted in Tony Hancock’s The Blood Donor. But in the case I’m about to describe, its homespun wisdom is nowhere even near the mark. On the contrary, one particular lack-of-knowledge is driving me to drink. In … Read more … →

I would ask you to take note of two things before you start reading this latest Home Thought From Abroad — or, to be more exact, since you’ve already started reading it, before you reach the third paragraph. Firstly, there is no hyphen, not even an implied one, between the … Read more … →

The other day, I was re-reading M.R. James’s ghost story, A Warning to the Curious. So, with the usual light-fingeredness of all hack writers, I’ve honoured his memory by filching his title. Only one word has been changed. But that change is important. The word warning seems to imply a … Read more … →

As I remember, we left our two intrepid Heroes somewhere twixt Calais and Bourges — though considerably nearer to the former than the latter… well, actually still in it, in fact. To recap (for the benefit of those who may have felt the urge to skip the less-interesting but nonetheless … Read more … →